


A Bun in the Oven???

by maddiebug



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bread, Confusion, Crack, F/M, Ladynoire, Not really though, Pregnancy Scare, Shenanigans, Supportive Chat Noir, aged up to like 17, and related jokes, bun in the oven, definitely not underaged drinking, innuendos, loyal chat noir, mari knows shes not pregnant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28646043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddiebug/pseuds/maddiebug
Summary: When Ladybug is seen publicly avoiding her glass of wine at a charity fundraiser, assumptions are made.In which Chat Noir has baby fever, miscommunication is a major plot device, and Marinette just wants to catch a break.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 352
Kudos: 498





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a series of writing prompts on the [ miraculous fanworks ](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) discord server.
> 
> The legal drinking age in France is 18, but I know a lot of countries let younger people have glasses of wine at meals, especially if its like a special family occasion, its not a big deal, but for purposes of this fix, Marinette has never once had alcohol in her life, and Adrien is a few months older than her and also a fancy bitch who's had wine before.

Really, Marinette had no idea how she had lost track of time so quickly. 

One minute she was scoring a loaf of bread, loading it into the oven, then next, she was panicking.

It felt like she had only just gotten home from school, and she was already running late again.

After making sure no one was around, she called upon her transformation and dashed towards the Eiffel Tower to meet her "date" for tonight. 

It was Chat Noir. For the record, they weren't dating. They were just attending a fancy party together.

One that Adrien might be at.

One that Chloe definitely would be at. At least if Ladybug had Chat Noir, she could fight off Chloe.

Honestly, Marinette wasn't quite sure what the event was for, some sort of Charity fundraiser, and she had accidentally accepted the invite as Ladybug. 

She met up with Chat, who had somehow attached a bowtie over his suit. "Didn't you get the message? It's a black (cat) tie event."

"Miss." She shook her head. "I was running late and that's the best pun you could come up with?"

"I thought it was purretty-"

She sighed. "Dont force any puns tonight, I'm not in the mood."

"Sorry," he frowned, "rough day?"

"You could say that." Marinette knew she couldn't get into much detail, for the sake if identities, but she really wanted to spill everything to her partner. "I was late to school, and I just had a terrible headache all day."

"Oh man, that sucks."

"Yeah, and on top of that, I've been really hungry, and after the alums attack one of my friends walked in on me in the bathroom, and almost found out my secret."

"Me-owch, that would put even this cool cat on edge."

Ladybug shook her head fondly. "You know what, that pun was a hit."

"Yes!" Chat Noir did a cute little fist-pump dance combination.

Not that Ladybug found Chat cute. It was an objective fact.

"C'mon, we should probably actually go to the event we promised to make an appearance at."

"I'd rather spend the night on this rooftop with you."

"I mean, I love spending time with you, but they're providing US with free food."

"Mmm, good point."

...

The food was better than Ladybug had expected for a meal she didn't have to pay for.

Logically, she knew it was a fancy occasion, but it felt like a feast. It was a four course meal, complete with a salad, soup, entree and dessert, paired with wine. 

When it was finally time for dessert, Ladybug was starting to feel a but full. She placed a hand on her stomach and winced. 

"You okay?" Chat asked.

"Just feeling a little full." She shook her head. "I thought I was eating for two. Shouldn't my kwami absorb some of this?"

"I'm not sure that's how kwami's work."

"Fair enough."

When a waiter walked around, handing out glasses of wine, Ladybugs politely declined.

"Thank you, but I am-" she gestured to herself, symbolizing that she was underage. Sure, one glass of wine wouldn't hurt, but she was Ladybug, an upstanding citizen and role model. The waiter seemed confused, so Ladybug winked, "-full." 

If she was seen underage drinking, even responsibly, there could be riots. Complete and utter chaos would ensue. 

It simply wasn't worth it.

Chat Noir took a glass of wine, but he was several months older than her, so it was legal. Probably. 

Honestly Ladybug wasn't too sure on Chat's exact age but as long as it was only one glass, he would be fine.

Instead, Ladybug drank some extra water. She really didn't think that avoiding alcohol was that big of a deal, especially because she was underage.

So it was confusing when all of the people around her started whispering. Even the poor waiter seemed taken aback by what she had said. 

"Ladybug...." Chat Noir lowered his voice to a whisper. "Do you have a bun in the oven?"

His voice was low enough that no one heard.

Ladybug frowned. What did that even mean, bun in the oven....

then she remembered the bread she had started to make at the beginning of this story, a convenient plot device that you, dear reader may have forgotton about, but I didn't. I created that loaf of now most likely burnt bread for the express purpose of causing panic. 

Her voice, was significantly louder, and quiet possibly everyone in the room heard her gasp, "I do have a bun in the oven."

Heads turned. There were screams. One lady fainted, and there were (unconfirmed reports) of a heart attack. 

Chat Noir flinched, "Ladybug, I-"

Thinking only of the loaf of bread, possibly burning down her house at this point, definitely charred beyond recognition, she shook her head. "I have to go."

"I'm sorry."

"Its not your fault." Ladybug sighed. "You were going to find out eventually, that I bake."

"I mean, I'm not judging you for... baking. And it's totally awkward to just have a secret of yours exposed like that." Chat said.

"I mean, it's just baking-" Ladybugs mumbled. 

"Shhh. It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me." 

"I want to explain-"

"Ladybug, I trust you. I've got your back. We're partners. We can figure this out."

"Did you think the fact that I like to bake is a serious issue?"

"Well, I uh-"

"Really Chat? You think this is going to affect my fighting?"

"Well..." He winced, "you will be putting on a few extra pounds, 

He cut her off before she got even angrier with him. Everything he said came out wrong. "This feels like a personal conversation in a public place."

"I didn't realize you we're so judgey about bakers." She rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Chat held his hands up in surrender. "I've never... made bread before. I'm just a little worried, and I feel like we should make some backup plans."

"Oh, that's-" Ladybug's glare softened. "Thats really sweet. Thanks for being worried, but I've got this."

"You and me, and your little loaf of bread against the world."

"I'm not sure bread would help much in an alums attack." She muttered. "...maybe a baguette could be used like a sword-"

"I hope you don't being your bread to alums attacks. Thats exactly what we should discuss."

Ladybug noticed the stares from her captive audience, the entire building hanging on to every word she said, and blushed. "Right. Can we meet tonight, at the usual spot?"

"Of course. Midnight? Or do you want to meet earlier. Because of your bread?"

"I don't think my bread will affect our meeting too much. Its not like i'll need to take it out of the oven then." Truthfully, she was planning on taking it out as soon as possible. She had probably ruined the bread already, by delaying her return home. 

He gasped. "You're not that far along, are you?"

"It'll be fine." She frowned. Didn't Chat have any idea how long it took to make a loaf of bread? Between the rising and the baking, sure it took quite a while, but not that long.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Tonight will be fine. Don't you know anything about bread?"

"Not really?"

"It'll be fine. Tonight. Midnight."

"If you're sure-"

"I am."

Chat nodded. "Take it easy Ladybug."

"I will." With that, she left, swinging towards home like there was no tomorrow.

Luckily, when she arrived, the loaf of bread was only slightly charred. Still fairly edible. 

Silently thanking Chat Noir for remembering for her, Marinette went about business as usual, baking several other snacks to share with Chat Noir.

She wasn't quite sure why he thought baking was so personal, (unless he figured out her identity), but she was going to share her baked goods with him. It was the nice thing to do, especially with how he saved her earlier. 

And Marinette plugged her phone in it's charger, conveniently avoiding seeing any trending topics on Twitter, or new posts on the Ladyblog.

If she had seen them, she probably would've freaked out, at least a little bit. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the nice comments!  
> I edited chapter one a bit before writing this, I added some more dialogue and bread confusion but nothing that you'd need to go back and re-read.

Marinette's bread was surprisingly good.

Not that her baking wasn't generally good, it had just been a rough process overall, and it was left in the oven entirely too long.

Once she sliced off the charred parts, it looked like a perfectly good loaf of bread. 

She sliced up about half of it, and prepared it with butter, wrapping it in foil to keep warm. 

It would be the perfect midnight snack for her and Chat Noir.

Speaking of which, Chat had been acting weird, like super weird, about bread. 

He seemed genuinely concerned for her well-being, and as endearing as it was, it wasn't necessary. 

Seriously, they were going to talk about proper bread procedure? Ridiculous. Clearly he had no experience and no idea what he was talking about. 

It was a nice gesture, but the worst thing she could do was like, burn her hand. There was no way that baking bread could limit Ladybug's ability to fight akuma.

The only possible reason that Marinette could justify Chat's actions was that somehow, he had figured out her identity. Maybe, the baking was the final piece in the puzzle, and he had solved every clue.

Clearly Chat had figured out her identity, and that's why he was worried. He knew Marinette's reputation for being clumsy and wanted to make sure that she wasn't like a complete disaster. 

All she had to do was show up, give him some bread, and reassure him that she could continue to do her job (wait, it's technically unpaid volunteer work?) as well as she had before.

After checking the time on the clock in her parents kitchen, Marinette transformed to meet her partner.

She made it to the tower before he did. 

When Chat showed up, he was a little out of breath. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I've just been dodging reporters all night."

"You have? Why?"

"Because of what you said. Everyone wanted to know more."

"About making bread?"

"About your bread. The little bun in your oven."

"On." Ladybug shook her head. "Theres no way I'm going to teach all of Paris how to make bread. Thatd be-"

"Incredibly awkward?" Chat volunteered. 

"I was going to say busy, but sure."

"I have a lot of questions, and I know you probably won't be able to answer all of them, but I also have some suggestions and I've planned out like five possible scenarios."

"Chat, its just bread. I know you've never baked before, but it's not that big of a deal."

"I have no idea how you're so nonchalant about this."

Ladybug shrugged, not sure if sharing that she literally lived in a bakery was too much information. "I mean, i make bread practically every day."

His jaw dropped. "Every day?"

"Yeah. Usually after school, and in the evenings."

"Ladybug, I'm learning things about you I never thought I'd know."

"I mean, I could teach you, if you wanted."

"Teach me?" He raised an eyebrow.

"How to bake bread."

Chat choked on air. "Let me get this straight...you want to teach me how to make bread. With you?"

"I mean, itd be weird for me to teach you to make bread with someone else?" Ladybug had no idea what that meant, or why he seemed so reluctant about it. It wasn't like making bread was super sticky or anything. Of course they would be making the bread together. It was a long task. "When are you free?"

"I'm pretty busy, honestly, I definitely can't bake as often as you do. Certainly not every day."

"I could probably show you most of the basics in one day, but I think it'd be better if we had.. multiple sessions." Ladybug was already planning all the different things she could teach him. Croissants, baguettes, macarons. It would take time and patience, but she knew he could do it. "One week, and you'll be a master baker."

Chat's face was red. "And I don't know if I'm ready to learn how to make bread. Don't get me wrong, I love you Ladybug, but that feels wrong. Especially since you have someone else to make bread with."

"Oh, I don't have anyone to make bread with anymore."

"You don't?" 

"No, I could use a partner. I think it'd be fun."

"Fun."

"Yeah. You and me, baking bread."

He blinked. "Ladybug, I think that's a bad idea."

"Then why are you here?"

"What?"

"Why did you call this meeting?"

"I want to support you, and your bread, in any way that I can."

"Thanks, but we're fine."

"If your bread needs a supportive father figure-"

"What?!"

He backed off, "you know or like an uncle figure? I want to support you. Youre my friend."

"Let me get this straight." Ladybug took a breath. "You want to be the father figure, to my loaf of bread?"

"Yeah? Unless your bread has a father, I wouldn't want to intrude."

Sure, Chat tended to be childish, but this was ridiculous. "Why would my bread have a father?"

He shrugged "Because that's how you made it?"

"My bread is my bread. It doesn't have a father."

Chat shook his head. "I can't believe I thought you were the responsible one."

"I am responsible."

"You bake bread every day."

What, like it was dangerous? Ladybug rolled her eyes. "I take proper safety precautions." 

"Do you? I thought you left a bun in the oven." 

"That was one time. Usually I'm responsible."

Chat shook his head. "I've taken the class. It only takes one time. I have to be responsible."

Ladybug rolled her eyes. "If you want to talk about being responsible, maybe we shouldn't promote underaged drinking."

"I'm 18." He frowned. "And you shouldn't be drinking anyways, because-"

"Yeah, I'm still 17."

"You're 17 and you bake bread every day? Where do you find the time?"

"Honestly, I don't. Between school and Ladybug, I'm swamped. But baking is a nice way to relax, you know?"

"I guess, I don't know?"

"I find it to be a good stress reliever. When you're kneading the dough, it's very therapeutic."

Chat closed his eyes. "Ladybug, I don't need details."

"I wasn't going to get into details. Like I said,I'd be willing to teach you everything I know,but-"

"Believe me." Chat grimaced. "When I'm ready to learn how to bake, I want it go be with you. I just feel like we should get to know eachother a bit more, you know?"

"How much more can we reveal?"

"Well, by the time I'm in your house, baking bread with you, I'd like to know a lot more about you Ladybug."

"Thats.. fair. Maybe we should wait until Hawkmoth is defeated."

"You think we can take him that soon?"

"I don't know."

"And aren't you worried about your bread."

"My bread?"

"The bun in the oven?"

Ladybug blinked. "No, why would I be worried."

"Because, its just a bun-"

"I took that loaf of bread out of the oven hours ago."

He tilted his head. "And you're here now? That feels like fast recovery."

"I don't know what you think baking requires, but its not that complicated."

"I mean, I know in theory-" Chat blushed. "I've never actually-"

"I understand." Ladybug nodded. "So, are you gluten free?"

"Gluten free? I'm not sure I understand."

"Like, can you eat gluten?"

"Yeah. Ladybug, you've brought croissants before."

"Right." She face palmed, "anyways, I made us some bread." She pulled the foil-wrapped, still warm bread out of an impossible pocket.

"I-"Chat chuckled.

"What?"

"That's _literally_ bread." He snorted. "Like an actual loaf of bread. Of course it is."

"Of course, what else would it be?"

"I don't know, some sort of innuendo? I thought maybe-"

"This is the bun I left in the oven." She unwrapped the foil, to show him the bread that was a little browner than usual. "Thanks for reminding me by the way. I was able to salvage it thanks to you-"

"Hold up Ladybug-"

"Holding up."

"-do you mean you were talking about an actual loaf of bread this entire time?"

"Yeah."

"Even at the event?"

"Yeah."

"And you refused the wine because you don't want to promote underage drinking?"

"Exactly." She nodded. "Why are you just restating things we talked about."

He facepalmed. "I'm an idiot." 

"Okay...."

"Me and about everyone in Paris. Of course you meant actual bread in the oven."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, its not my fault you were acting so weird."

"I-"

"What was that all about, anyways?"

Chat shook his head. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

"I do-"

"Just look at any major French news site. They're all reporting on it right now."

"Really?" Strangely enough, she hadn't looked at her phone all evening. Maybe she would have to check it when she got home. 

"Yeah, even the Ladyblog is holding a poll for possible names for your little lost of bread "

"Who names a loaf of bread? That's bizarre."

"On second thought," Chat frowned, "If I were you, I'd avoid the news. You don't want to know what they're saying."

"If its about baking, I don't care. I'm a proud baker."

"This has been the weirdest day of my life."

"Does that mean you don't want bread?"

"No, I'll take some." He took a bite, "this is really good!"

"I know, that's why I panicked when I realized I left it in the oven."

"So, when you said you wanted to teach me how to make bread, you mean, like bread. In a bakery?"

"Yeah." She got an idea, "Actually, I know a place where we can make bread, in costume."

"Are you sure?"

She hadn't been, but if she talked to her parents, she could get away with it. "Yeah, you know the Dupain-Cheng bakery?"

"I'm familiar."

"What if we made bread as a fundraiser?"

"You want to make bread with me? What will the media think?"

She was already going on a tangent. "Its genius. We can raise money for akuma victims and promote the best bakery in Paris. Maybe I'll ask Alya from the Ladyblog to report on it."

"I'm not so sure you want to talk to her right now-"

"No, it's a great idea. How does t o morrow sound?" Marinette conveniently had a shift at the bakery then. 

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll talk to the Dupain-Chengs and get Alya to report on it tonight."

"I'm not so sure that-"

"Don't worry, I've got this."


	3. Chapter 3

When Marinette told her parents that Ladybug and Chat Noir wanted to make bread in their bakery, they were less than enthused.

"Theyre free to do what they want on their own time, but not in my kitchen."

"Mommmmm," Marinette groaned, "they're literally planning on making superhero themed croissants."

"Croissants, like with butter and flakiness? Thats not some sort of metaphor, is it?"

"What would croissants even be a metaphor for?" Marinette rolled her eyes, "they want to raise money for akuma victims and I guess Ladybug is a talented baker."

"You guess?" Sabine raised an eyebrow.

"Haha, yeah. Yep!" Marinette flinched. It was a very incriminating eyebrow. Almost like her mom knew something. But there was no way, right? No way. 

"Really? that's fascinating." Sabine continued, "I wonder who taught Ladybug to bake."

"She's just naturally gifted." Marinette cleared her throat, trying not to sound suspicious, "at least that's what she told me."

"Well, this sounds like a good plan to me, but I'd have to talk to Ladybug."

"You have to talk to Ladybug? I can make that work." Marinette nodded. "Shes actually on my balcony right now-" she made a move for the stairs.

"We can go get her together."

"No!" Marinette shouted, followed by a nervous laugh, "I mean, I can go get her, wouldn't want your knees to hurt from climbing all of those stairs. Haha." 

"Right...." 

With that, Marinette sprinted up the stairs, making sure that her Mom stayed behind in the kitchen. 

In record time, Ladybug casually came down the stairs, almost like Marinette just had to get out of eyesight to transform.

Sabine watched, amused, from the bottom of the stairs. "Hey Ladybug, what happened to Marinette?"

"Marinette?" Marinette hadn't thought that far ahead in the plan, she just transformed and was going with the flow. "She felt tired, so she decided to sleep. Besides, she said you wanted to talk with me?"

"I do." Sabine nodded. "Come sit."

"Okay...." Ladybug sat on the couch, "so, the fundraiser-"

"I think baking for charity is a wonderful idea. My husband and I would be willing to provide the ingredients and bakery, if we could get the cost of ingredients refereeing donations."

Ladybug nodded. "That's very reasonable, we were planning on giving 50% of profits to you, and 50% to the akuma relief foundation."

"Ladybug, you are the akuma relief foundation."

No? Its not like Marinette was just pocketing the money. Ooh that would be a good idea. She really should be getting paid for being a superhero. "In terms of advertising-"

"Ladybug, let's cut to the Chase," Sabine sighed, "I'm sure you figured out this fundraiser, and I trust that you are capable of carrying it out."

"Really, thanks Mo- Mrs. Cheng. I'll let Chat know-" she bounced up-"

"Second of all, sit down. That's not what I really want to talk to you about."

Well, there was no way that this was going to go well. Ladybug sat down. "I have a busy schedule-"

"I'm sure you can make some time for this." 

Ladybug was feeling more guilty by the second. "Of course I have time for concerned citizens, what seems to be the issue."

"Well, Ladybug," Sabine hesitated, "I want you to know, that if I was your mom, I would be proud."

Ladybug's hands started shaking. "What?"

"I'm not saying that you are my daughter, but I see a lot of her in you."

"Yeah, I've gotten that a couple times." Ladybug chuckled awkwardly, "must be the pigtails."

"And, I know, it's not my business who Ladybug 'makes bread' with, but I do hope you're being safe."

"I am safe." Ladybug tried to smile reassuringly, "I'm always safe."

Sabine seemed skeptical. "As a former teenager, I highly doubt that."

"The most dangerous thing I do is swing from the rooftops-"

"Right. Thats terrifying, please never mention that again or I might have to ground you."

Ladybug's face was red. "You can't ground me."

"Right. You're Ladybug. But if you were my daughter, I'd probably be frustrated. A little upset that you kept all this from me."

"You'd be disappointed in me, wouldn't you-"

"Not at all." Sabine smiled. "Ladybug, if you were my daughter, I'd be so proud." 

Ladybug's heart started to feel all warm and fuzzy. "Really?"

"Yeah. You're an amazing young woman, and you're going to do amazing things."

"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me-"

"I know." Sabine sighed. "Just promise me, you'll try to be safe."

"I will."

"And, whatever you do, protect your little bun."

"My bun?" Ladybug rolled her eyes. "I know how to take care of bread."

"Yeah, but Bread is a precious thing. You have to keep it safe."

"I will?" Sure, Marinette liked bread as much as the next person, but she wouldn't describe it as precious. 

"And if you need a safe place to put your bread during akuma attacks, I hope you'll consider us."

Weird. "Yeah. For sure." Ladybug looked at a nonexistent watch on her wrist. "Look at the time. I should be going."

"Ladybug-"

"I still have to post on social media, and talk to the Ladyblogger and sleep."

"Ladybug-"

"This was a great conversation, Mrs. Cheng, but I really need to go. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Ladybug fled the scene, hoping to avoid any more identity crises. That and been close. Sabine almost figured her out. 


	4. Chapter 4

When Marinette finally picked up her phone to call Alya, she specifically didn't check the Ladyblog.

She mostly ignored the news and conspiracy theories on the blog anyways, the only notifications she had enabled were akuma alerts, which allowed her to know when she needed to transform and where to go. They really were handy and-

Sorry, let's stay on track.

Marinette dialed Alya's phone number, and her best friend picked up almost instantly. "Girl, I'm so glad you called, I have some news I've been dying to tell you."

"You do?"

"Mmmm hmmm. Its about Ladybug and Chat Noir. I'm so excited for them."

"For what?"

"They have a bun in the oven." Alya sighed. "I'm proud of them. Our heroes are growing up."

Baking really wasn't that impressive of a feat. Also, Ladybug took her bread out of the oven hours ago, but Marinette was going to keep both of these things to herself. "Yeah, congrats to them."

"I know. I'm so excited." Alya giggled. "Would it be weird if I threw them a party?"

"For bread?"

"Yeah, for their little bun."

"Uhh, I think it'd be a little weird." Marinette frowned. What kind of person threw a party for bread. Seriously. That was wild. "I mean, you don't really know them-"

"You're right. They probably have people in their own lives who will throw them a party."

"Sure." Marinette highly doubted that was the case. No one threw her a party the first time that she made a loaf of bread. It wasn't that big of a deal. Really, Alya was overreacting.

Alya squealed. "Oh my god, I just realized something."

"Ouch, that hurt my ears."

"Ladynoir is Canon."

"How does bread mean that Ladynoir is canon."

"Well, if they made the bread together, Chat Noir has to be the father-"

"They never said they made bread together."

Alya gasped. "You think the bun has a different father?"

"I don't know." Bread didn't need two parents, this was such a weird conversation. Also, two friends could bake together, for fun. "It could. Ladybug has always denied being in a relationship with Chat."

"But they have real chemistry..." Alya sighed, "and I mean, of they're making bread together, that basically confirms that-"

Time to change the subject. "Speaking of making bread-"

"What?" Alya coughed.

"Ladybug and Chat Noir wanted to make some bread in our bakery, as a fundraiser, and they want you there to live stream it."

There was an awkward pause. Marinette wondered if she somehow messed up the wording. 

Alya hesitated. "Is that even legal??" 

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"The Ladyblog is a family friendly website."

Marinette crossed her arms, not that Alya could see them. "Well, Ladybug has a food handler's permit, so I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Why would she need a permit-"

Marinette raised an eyebrow."To make bread? You can't sell/serve food to the public without a permit."

Alya chuckled. "Oh you mean like bread. Actual, literal bread. Like, a loaf of bread."

"Well, Ladybug said she was thinking croissants, but yeah."

"You really had me going for a moment there." Alya took a breath, "Theyre having a bake Sale. As a fundraiser. yeah that's a cool idea, I could totally stream it to the Ladyblog."

"They were planning on doing it tomorrow, so-"

"Tomorrow I'm free." 

"Cool, cool, I'll text you the details."

"Sounds great. I'm going to scream into my pillow about Ladynoir for a few hours."

That was weird.

"Okay... bye?" Marinette hung up. It wasn't weird to talk about her crush on Adrien, but when it came to a hypothetical relationship between herself and her partner, it was just a weird conversation. 

Also, Marinette just didn't like talking about herself in the third person. It got confusing. 


	5. Chapter 5

Surprisingly, Marinette's idea was working perfectly.

Chat Noir arrived early, and she, (as Marinette), explained the basics of baking. Then, she conveniently had to go "study," and Ladybug appeared.

And no one suspected anything. 

Together, Ladybug and Chat Noir made dozens of croissants, before the bakery even opened. 

And then the chaos began. 

Customers flooded in, like never before. 

It was like rush hour, if the bakery were a busy highway, and the Cruz of the traffic jam was right in front of Ladybug.

Croissants were flying off the racks. It required both Ladybug and Chat Noir to stand at the counter, one to grab and bag pastries, and the other (Ladybug) to handle the cash register.

As each customer bought a pastry, they thanked, and then congratulated her, which was nice, if a little odd.

One very pregnant woman tried to have a long conversation with Ladybug about buns in the oven, and different techniques for baking, but the line behind her was long, and Ladybug had to help the next customer. 

They raised more funds in two hours than the charity auction had in four. (To be fair, Ladybug was only at the charity auction for half an hour). 

Everything was going exactly according to plan, until it didn't. 

Of course, Hawkmoth had to plan an akuma attack, on the day that they were holding a fundraiser. Typical. 

After ensuring that everyone was relatively safe, and making sure Sabine had an eye on the cash register (in case anyone tried anything), Ladybug and Chat Noir were off to fight a supervillian.

Weirdly enough, the akuma was a regular looking guy in a suit, just chilling on a rooftop, shining a laser into the sky, not hurting anyone. It was like he was just there for attention.

Ladybug and Chat Noir crept up slowly, trying to get more information. They had no idea how he would attack. 

Ladybug took another step, and the akuma turned around-

And clapped. "Good, you're here. We have so much to discuss."

Ladybug pulled out her yo-yo. "Akumas don't usually want to talk."

"Well, I'm different." The akuma smiled. "I'm under direct orders not to hurt you."

"Thats... different." Ladybug frowned. "Why?"

"Well, Hawkmoth knows you have a bun in the oven..."

Man, what was with people and their obsession with bread lately? 

Ladybug faintly heard Chat Noir cackling behind her. "And, what about it?"

"Hawkmoth... Hawkmoth doesn't want to put you at risk like that. He's a supervillian, no a psychopath. He is willing to cease all miraculous action for the next nine months."

"Uh-huh." Ladybug nodded skeptically. "Whats the catch?"

"No catch." A mask glowed over the akuma's face and it frowned. "Fine. I'm supposed to ask you to hand over your miraculous."

"Never." Ladybug's grip on her yo-yo tightened. 

"Yeah, we figured." The akuma sighed. "Do you have a mailing address Hawkmoth can reach you at?"

"I'm not giving Hawkmoth my address."

"He wants to send you gifts and supplies."

"He's my enemy." Ladybug glared. 

"He says, 'i remember when my wife and I made our first bun. He turned my life upside down. I can't justify fighting you while you're doing that.'" 

"I'm still not giving him my address."

"Fine." A butterfly mask appeared briefly. "He's willing to set up weekly meetings with Chat Noir to give you supplies."

"I don't-"

"We accept." Chat blurted out. 

"What?" Ladybug stared at him.

"Trust me," Chat mouthed. "So, how long is Hawkmoth willing to extend this?"

"Eight-nine months." The akuma shrugged. "It depends on Ladybug's recovery. I know it can be rough."

Chat nodded sympathetically. "I've heard so, but so far, she's taking it like a champ."

"Taking what like a champ?" 

"Making bread." The akuma replied.

"I will agree to Hawkmoth's terms." Chat held out his hand. "On one condition."

"Whats the condition?"

"I can only meet on Tuesday evenings."

"He can make that work."

"Great."

Chat Noir and the akuma shook hands. 

Ladybug stood to the side, absolutely confused. "What just happened?"

"Ill explain later bugaboo. Mothman isn't going to attack for nine months."

"Hawkmoth can still hear you." The akuma shared, unhelpfully.

"Lb?" Chat gestured.

Ladybug punched the akuma's tie and purified his butterfly. "One step ahead of you."

"Yeah, you always are." 

They returned the victim safely to the ground, before going back to the rooftops to talk.

"So, that was weird." Ladybug chuckled. "I had no idea Hawkmoth was such a fan of bread."

"Right." Chat coughed. "Hawkmoth is laying off because he thinks you're a baker."

"Maybe he's a baker. So you think that narrows down our search?"

"Not unless we think Hawkmoth is Marinette?"

"No-" Ladybug responded, probably a little too quickly. "I mean, I'm not sure, but she helped you that one time with that akuma so surely she can't be Hawkmoth." Ladybug conveniently avoided mentioning Marinette's tendency to run off when there was an akuma attack.

"That was a joke." Chat clarified. "I know its not her."

"Good, I'm pretty sure Hawkmoth is a middle aged man. Or Lila rossi."

"Both seem likely."

"Its weird that he decided to give us time off, but I'm not complaining, I'll take what I can get."

"I feel that." Chat sighed. "I've been so busy, and the akuma attacks make it impossible to stay on too of everything."

"Although nine months seemed excessive. I mean, I could make so much bread in nine months." Ladybug shook her head. "Croissants, baguettes, ciabotta, rolls, crumb loaves, sourdough, rye-"

Chat Noir cut her off. "Ladybug, you're beautiful."

"I mean, if I had known it would get him to lay off for a while, I would've told Hawkmoth I make bread years ago."

"Yeah-" Chat coughed, "I'm sure that would've gone over well when we were literal children."

"I'm still legally a child." Ladybug added helpfully. "That's why I didn't drink at the auction, remember?"

"Yes, that was yesterday. I remember." 

"Yep."

"Incredible." Chat chuckled.

"What?"

"You have no idea how much chaos you spawned but not drinking that wine, do you?"

"Chaos?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

They made it back to the bakery and sold the entire stock of croissants.

Alya streamed the entire thing to the Ladyblog, which apparently, got a lot of hits. 

It was a success, in Ladybug's mind.

Even if all of the unwarranted congratulations started to get annoying. 

Seriously, what was that all about? Why did everyone want to congratulate her. 

It wasn't like she had accomplished anything recently. Defeating that akuma wasn't even hard. 


	6. Chapter 6

The next day was Monday, which meant school. Of course, Marinette, being Marinette, walked into class late and barely heard the end of a conversation between Lila and a very uncomfortable Adrien. 

"I think the two of us could make bread together." Lila smirked. 

Adrien took a half step back. "Uh, no I'm good."

Before Lila could continue, Marinette stepped between them. "Lila, stop, you're making him uncomfortable."

"On, he didn't say that. I'm sorry." Lila smiled. 

Adrien glared. "Lila, you're making me uncomfortable."

"And-" Marinette continued, "why would you even offer to teach Adrien how to make bread."

"I thought-" Lila started to speak.

Marinette cut her off. "I mean, seriously, Lila, I'm right here." 

The entire class gasped.

Adrien scratched the back of his neck. "While I appreciate the offer-"

"I mean, I literally live in a bakery." Marinette shook her head. "I could teach all of you how to make bread, since everyone is so obsessed over that right now."

Alya blinked. "Did you just volunteer to make bread with Adrien? I didn't know you had it in you."

"Why wouldn't I- do you know how many loaves of bread I make every week? It's my part time job."

As the entire class stared, Adrien's eyes lit up in understanding. "You mean, you literally want to make bread, with flour and yeast..."

"Yeah, what else would I mean?"

He looked her up and down. "Well-"

"Well what?" Marinette placed a hand on her hip.

"Nothing." Adrien chuckled. "Nothing at all. When are you free?"

"Does Friday after school work for you?" 

"Yeah. It does."

"Great." Marinette smiled. "Its a date."

"Its a date." Adrien repeated, also smiling.

"Date." Marinette replied.

...

"Hey, did you guys hear that Ladybug is pregnant?"

Marinette's head turned around so fast her neck cracked. "Shut up Lila, can you just stop with the bullshit for one day, please?"

"But that's the truth-"

"First you're trying to bake with my boyfriend, and now you're lying about Ladybug?"

"B-boyfriend?" Adrien whispered, stuttering a bit. It would've been cute, if it wasn't mortifying. Did she really just call him her boyfriend??

Shoot. She didn't mean to say that part out loud. Now Marinette had to quickly cover her tracks.

She casually brushed her hair back, acting totally smooth and natural, "If you're okay with that." Marinette whispered, praying to all higher power that Adrien would say yes.

"More than okay." 

Well that was surprisingly easy. Marinette had no idea that it would eh so simple to start a relationship with the boy of her dreams.


	7. Chapter 7

Tuesday, Marinette woke up to a few tabloid notifications on her phone. 

_Breaking News: Ladybugs's Temporary Retirement_

_New Parent's Top 100 Questions, Answered_

_Ladybug: The Mom of Paris_

_Ladybug needs a Ladybreak?_

She swiped them away. they didn't matter. It wasn't like they had any information that she didn't already know. 

Even thought Hawkmoth said he wouldn't attack for nine months, Marinette wasn't going to just lie around and do nothing. She was Ladybug. She and Chat could still to on patrols, and fight other crime, even if Hawkmoth was MIA.

And besides, she didn't trust Hawkmoth. His "temporary surrender" was probably some form of mind games, designed to distract the heroes while he planned another 'Heroes Day' sized event. 

It was important that Ladybug stay on her toes.

Marinette, however, was so focused on thinking about being on her toes, that she forgot to get out of bed, and was almost late to school.

Luckily, Kwami who had both all knowledge of the known universe and an internal clock (accurate within 23 seconds) reminded her gently, with a shout. 

She was able to grab a croissant from the bakery, and stuff it down her face as she sprinted to school. Seriously, she needed to get a better sense of time. 

She walked through the class as the bell was ringing, but to her relief, Lila was sulking in the back, and Adrien was sitting alone in the first row. 

Nino had taken Marinette's regular seat, which left one seat for Marinette, which she gladly took.

School was boring, as usual, and as promised, Mothman did not pull out an attack strike during chemistry. Marinette was able to pay attention, for once.

Or she would have been able to pay attention had it not been for her highly distracting boyfriend, who chose to be her lab partner. Seriously, he was so beautiful, that she forgot about gravity. 

It would've been a great opportunity to use the "I just fell for you," pun that Chat Noir was always trying to get her to use. 

After she dropped and shattered two test tubes, (one by accident, and one when Adrien made a really bad pun), Adrien took over on the experiment front, while Marinette recorded the lab in her notebook. 

Other than that little mishap, the school day went swimmingly, and when it was done, Marinette felt wide awake. She wasn't exhausted from fighting akuma or anything. 

She began to think about Hawkmoth's terms for the cease-fire.

He had agreed to stop fighting, for nine months (give or take), while Ladybug made bread. 

What wasn't clear was if Hawkmoth expected a portion of bread to be delivered to him. And he didn't specify what variety he wanted. 

Marinette decided to go with the safe choice, and made a dozen croissants, to be delivered to her worst enemy.

It really was a weird world she was living in. 

Like really, Mothman could just drive up to a bakery and buy croissants, he didn't need to terrorize Paris to do it. 

Once the croissants were finished, Marinette placed them in a tupperware container and transformed. 

It was early evening, and she was ready to join Chat Noir and an akuma on the first of their weekly meetings.

Unfortunately, when she climbed on the nearest rooftop, she didn't see either of them. Ladybug made an executive decision to head towards the Eiffel Tower, which always seemed to be a magnet for Chaos and Akuma attacks. 

Still nothing. 

Ladybug sighed, and even though it was well into the evening at that point, decided to give up, and head home.

Of at least she would have, had she not been immediately tackled from the rooftop into a nearby alley.

Without looking, Ladybug whacked the assailant with her tupperware container, and rolled out from under them. "Who do you think you-" she paused, recognizing the person who had been pinning her go the ground, "-Chat?"

"Ladybug!" He laughed, "you're supposed to be at home, resting. Remember?"

No, she didn't remember. They hadn't talked about resting. She waved the container in his face. "I made bread."

"You... made bread?"

"Yeah, just like Hawkmoth wanted."

"I-"

"Croissants to reduce chaos, am I right?"

"No?"

"What do you mean? Everyone had just been obsessed with bread lately. Its all anyone can talk about. And like, I know, bread is Neat, but it's bread. You know?"

"I don't know, actually."

She gasped. "You don't know about bread?"

"I'm pretty sure you're the one who doesn't know about bread."

She put her hands on her hips. "I live in a bakery."

"Yeah, but what does it mean when someone says they have a bun in the oven?"

"Obviously," Ladybug rolled her eyes, "it means that they're literally baking buns. In the oven. In the kitchen."

Chat Noir sighed. "Ladybug, we need to talk."

"We do?"

"Yes. About a lost of things. Starting with bread, and-"

There was a loud crash above them on the rooftops.

Chat winced. "-I'm pretty sure that's my cue."

"What about me?"

"Stay behind on this one." Chat winked. "Trust me, I've got this."

Ladybug trusted her partner, which is why she stayed behind, as he went to face an akuma alone. But she also knew her partner and his chaotic tendencies, which is why she handed him the container, and told him, "stick to the script."

"Yeah, of course."

"And just yell if you need me."

He winked. "If there's one think I'm good at, it's yelling."

Ladybug was about to go off. Not only was he a talented swordfighter, he was loyal and charming and funny and sweet, and could dance like no one else (that last one wasn't a complement). He was the best superhero partner she could wish for, even it he was a little chaotic. "You are good at so many-"

"Ill be right back." Chat extended his baton. "Wait for me, so we can talk."

And he forgot the croissants, but luckily, Ladybug had attached them to his belt with her yo-yo. 

A dozen croissants was a small price to pay for peace. 

At least, she hoped a dozen was enough.

Hawkmoth hadn't exactly given her a terms and conditions of their little truce. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the akuma "attack" (negotiation?) Chat Noir tries to talk to ladybug, but things don't exactly go to plan. (Ladybug pukes in front of the public and it only encourages rumours) 
> 
> (Okay yes this chapter is just the set up for more shenanigans)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, thanks for all the nice comments, I'm working on responding to all of them (but there are currently like 50 in my inbox in falling behind fdhsfdgsc)  
> Anyways, to clear up a few FAQs:   
> 1) Marinette is just extremely oblivious. For whatever reason, she doesn't know the meaning of the phrase "bun in the oven." Eventually, she will learn, but before she does, shenanigans will ensue.  
> 2) Chat Noir figured our her identity. I've been dropping little clues, but realized that even if she doesn't know that yet, you guys still should, if adds to the story. (Like that's why Adrien was so enthusiastic about dating her, he knew she was Ladybug, and why Chat wasn't phased by the "i live in a bakery").   
> 3) more shenanigans will ensue. I don't think anyone asked that, I just want you to know.

Okay, so Ladybug didn't exactly stay hidden in the alley like she promised.

It wasn't that she didn't trust her partner, there was no one she trusted more than Chat Noir. He was perfectly capable of handling this situation.

It was that Ladybug didn't quite understand the situation with Hawkman, and needed any information she could get. Obviously Chat Noir wasn't trying to keep her in the dark, but things really weren't adding up. 

So, instead of waiting for a clarifying discussion, like any reasonable person, Ladybug chose to sneak up a fire escape, to the nearest rooftop, where she laid down to watch the exchange go down. 

She was too far away to hear any of the conversation, but it went something like this:

Chat Noir awkwardly walked up to the akuma. (Seriously, she had never seen him so stiff. Where was her, cool, calm, collected kitty-cat?)

They exchanged words. Probably greetings. Maybe threats of nuclear war. Possibly bread puns. It wasn't clear.

Chat Noir handed the akuma the box of croissants, they shared a laugh, (for unknown reasons. What was funny about croissants? She poured her heart and soul into those), and the akuma handed Chat... a bundle of some sort.

From this distance, it wasn't clear what it was. (Ladybug should invest in binoculars if these meetings were going to be a regular occurrence). 

She watched as Chat and the Akuma shared the croissants, not giving any to Hawkmoth. That was weird. Hopefully Chat would be able to tell her what type of bread Hawkmoth preferred. 

She wanted to keep this cease-fire as long as she could. 

After they split the croissants, Chat took back Ladybug's empty box, and said some parting words of wisdom, or not (if Ladybug was being honest with herself, it was probably a pun). 

Then, the akuma magically transformed into a regular dude, a white butterfly fluttered away, and Chat Noir started to come back in her direction. 

Where she was laying on the rooftop, instead of in the alley, like she had promised. 

Ladybug panicked. She didn't want Chat Noir go see her spying on him and get the wrong idea. She couldn't stand up or crawl down, her red suit would be like a flashing sign, pointing directly at her that Saud something like, _I have trust issues and I'm very confused about everyone's obsession with bread_ seriously what was up with that. Chat Noir just ate ten croissants on his own and-

Ladybug was running out of time to act. 

Within minutes, Chat would be back in the alley, and every second she wasted on the rooftop was another second closer to him spotting her. (Haha spot, like the spots on her suit) Ladybug silenced her inner Chat Noir, and did the only thing she could think of. 

Staying low to the ground (rooftop), Ladybug slowly, deliberately, rolled over. Then she rolled over again. 

And again.

And again.

She adopted a reasonable pace of rolling, and was sure that she would be able to get to the alley before Chat Noir could, as long as she figured out how to-

Ladybug had to stifle a scream when she rolled too far and found herself free-falling towards the concrete and dumpsters. 

She managed to pull out her yo-yo and slow her fall just enough to prevent her from becoming a Ladybug-pancake. (On the other hand, she hit her side against a wall pretty hard, and was definitely going to have a bruise. She also may have hit the side of her head against said wall, but there was so much happening in the span of so little time that her sudden headache could have been from anything).

By the time Chat Noir got back, Ladybug had made it to the alley, but she was extremely dizzy, and swaying from side to side. 

Clearly, someone over-estimated her ability to roll, and was paying for it. 

She stood up, by propping herself up against the wall, and waited for her partner to arrive.

Chat frowned, as he landed on the ground next to her, "Hey, Lb, you don't look so good."

"I feel fine" She gave two thumbs up, that might have been upside down. "Or maybe not... the entire world is spinning."

"What happened?"

"My head hurts." It was partial truth. She didn't want to upset him.

"Whoa-" he placed a hand on her shoulder, slowing her sway. She hadn't realized how much she had been swaying until he stopped her. "I don't know what happened, but I think you need to sit down. Or lay down. Are you feeling sick?"

"No." She responded honestly, "just dizzy. Maybe a little nauseous. My head hurts."

"Okay," he nodded. "Let me know when you think you're good to walk it off." 

"I think I'm good!" She announced, swaying on her feet. 

Immediately, Chat Noir dropped his bundle and the box again, and placed his hands on her shoulders to balance her. 

Once she was steady, he attracted the bundle to his belt, and put the empty box in her yo-yo. (Dont ask, the physics don't make sense. Its bigger on the inside).

"Here's what we're going to do. You and me are going to walk, until the world stops spinning. If you feel like you're going to fall over, just squeeze my hand. Got it?"

"Got it." Ladybug grabbed her partner's hand and tried to ignore the way her heart sped up. It was probably because she was dizzy. Or adrenaline. (Or because she thought Chat Noir was hot and-) definitely adrenaline. 

She squeezed his hand four times in the span of two blocks. Luckily, he had time, and she wasn't in danger of transforming any time soon. 

They walked from the alley, towards a main road, towards the heart of Paris. 

Ladybug was getting more steady on her feet, walking normally, until-she squeezed his hand hard. 

"Ladybug?" Chat Noir held her hand. 

"I don't feel so good." 

"You're looking a little green." He frowned. "I would offer to make you some ginger tea, but-"

It was too late. 

Nearby civilians were pushed aside as Ladybug sprinted to the nearest trash can. 

And then she puked. 

Thats what she got for trying to be sneaky and roll around on rooftops. Marinette got motion-sickness very easily, and unfortunately, that didn't change with magic. 

Chat Noir was with her the entire time, holding her hair back and patting her head. "Its okay."

As she pulled away, to sit on the ground, Ladybugs was pretty sure she heard a camera shutter go off. (She had no idea who was taking pictures of her puking or why, but she didn't have the energy to yell at them). 

Chat Noir however, did. He went off. He snapped. 

Ladybug didn't hear most of it, she was focused on steadying her breathing and shaky hands, but what she did hear, made her heart flutter. 

Chat Noir spouted off phrases like "an invasion of privacy," and "a completely personal matter." He called the photographer, "nothing but tabloid scum," and "a coward for only photographing Ladybug when she's at her most vulnerable," told them that if they ever tried to take pictures of anyone in a compromising situation, he would find them and get them fired.

Chat Noir got the whole crowd to back off, even if they still stared and whispered from a distance, it was nice to have some space. 

She had no idea he could be so scary. It was hot. (Mind out of gutter. Adrien Agreste was dating her. Focus).

When she finally felt steady enough to stand, Chat helped her balance. "Ladybug, you really aren't looking good. Are you sure you don't want me to carry you?"

"I'm-" _fine._ The words died in her throat as she considered her pounding headache and nausea. "Yeah, that would be great."

He scooped her up, bridal style, and took a breath, "Where to, bugaboo?"

"Can you drop me off near the Dupain-Cheng bakery?" She grimaced. In an ideal world, he could carry her home, but that would require her to reveal her identity, and she wasn't going to do that after a little dizzy spell. 

"I can, but I'm not too sure that Tom and Sabine would appreciate Ladybug throwing up-"

"I think that was a one time thing." She grimaced. "Hopefully. Besides, they're pretty chill. I think they'd offer me a place to take a nap."

"Yeah they would." Chat chuckled, "is here okay?" 

They were in the alley behind the bakery. 

"Here is perfect." Ladybug stood up. "Chat, thank you so much-"

"It was the right thing to do. Ladybug, you looked really out of it. Honestly, you still look out of it."

"My head feels out of it." 

"Get some rest."

"I will." Ladybug blinked. "Didnt you want to talk about something?"

"I did, but I think it can wait until you're feeling better. Just have Tikki contact Plagg and we can figure out a time to talk."

"That sounds like a good plan." She nodded. "Seriously, thank you. For everything."

"Its no big deal. Really, I should be thanking you-"

"Why?"

"We'll talk about it later." He nudged her. "For now, you should sleep and definitely not watch any tv."

"Tv?"

"You said your head hurt. It'll add to the headache."

"Right." That made sense. It wasn't like there was something he didn't want her to see. "I'm gonna sleep."

"You do that."

And so, a dizzy Ladybug made her way home, where she immediately fell asleep on her bed, and slept for twelve hours straight. 

It was only when Tikki some her up at 8am, and she felt her pounding headache and weak limbs that Marinette considered that maybe she actually was sick. 

A quick check with the thermometer proved it. (After all, 103 degrees Fahrenheit was not a normal person temperature. It was like hot-tub temperature. Or how warm, a nice, fresh loaf of bread was).

The dizziness wasn't entirely from rolling on the rooftop, Marinette was legitimately sick.

Marinette pulled out her phone and quickly texted Alya, telling her she was sick, and asking for notes. Then, she texted Adrien, to let him know she was sick, and wouldn't be able to help with the chemistry lab. 

Then she ate some bread and soup and slept for another 8 hours. 

Being sick was exhausting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to comment with questions, conspiracies and suggestions, I read every comment (and respond to most of them)
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading this wacky fic


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which adrien and marinette talk, and nothing makes see see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is also set up. Sorry. Not especially plot relevant.

The next time Marinette opened her eyes, Adrien was in her room, which frankly, was how a lot of her dreams started.

Then she felt the headache, and knew it was no dream. "Adrien, what are you doing here?"

Adrien handed her a warm bowl. "Your mom told me to give you this soup."

"Thanks, but like, what see you doing in my house? Its a Wednesday, don't you have fencing?"

"I had to cancel fencing."

"Oh. I'm sorry?"

"Don't be." He placed a folder on her desk. "I have the homework you asked me to bring. And some bank statements and legal documents, but you don't seem up for that conversation, so we can save those for later."

"What conversation? I asked Alya to bring me homework."

"No, you definitely asked me." Adrien smiled, "and as your boyfriend, I was happy to do it. Although, I won't be at school tomorrow, you'll have go ask someone else for notes."

"Oh, why?"

"I'm recording commercials."

"More Adrien the fragrance?" Marinette pretended to swoon.

Adrien pretended to gag. "Thankfully, no. Nothing that has to do with my father's company. I'm branching out, establishing connections in the field."

"Good for you."

"Yeah."Adrien pulled out a paper and a pen, passing it over to Marinette, "can you sign this real quick?" 

"Sure," Marinette wrote her signature, dotting the i with a heart, "what's it for?"

"Just a little project I'm working on." Adrien shrugged. "Nothing big."

"Cool." Marinette blinked. "Wait, did you say you had bank statements and legal documents?"

Adrien scratched the back of his neck. "While I'd love to stay and chat, I actually have a pretty busy day, and really should be going."

"What does that mean?"

"You'll fine out soon, but this really isn't a conversation to have when you're sick."

"Are you suing me?"

"No, no, it's nothing like that. I've managed to negotiate a payment for-"

"Payment for what?"

Adrien frowned. "Its not important, and now that I think about it possibly fraud. I'll get back to you on that one." 

"Fraud?" 

"Maybe." He shrugged. "It depends."

"On what?"

"How do you feel about adopting?"

"Well, I'd like to have my one children, but of course I'm open to adopting. Every child should have a loving home, and once we graduate and get married and have stable careers, we should definitely think about adopting."

"I see," Adrien nodded thoughtfully. "What about adopting a newborn, oh, I dont know, 8 months from now?"

"We're in high school? We haven't even gone on a real date yet?" Marinette's voice cracked. "I dont think either of us are ready to adopt."

"Okay, so that's off the table for now. I'll figure things out and get back to you."

With a wave of his hand, Adrien Agreste was out the door, leaving Marinette with less answers and more questions than she had when he walked in. 

Although, the soup he brought her was pretty good. 

And the bread was a nice touch.

Instead of trying to solve the impossible mystery that was her boyfriend, Marinette decided to go back to sleep.

Once she was all rested up, she could talk to Adrien, and Chat Noir, and figure out what the hell was going on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi yes the next chapter Will be entirely from Adrien's POV and then you Will finally see what is going on. 
> 
> Yes he wants to tell Marinette/Ladybug everything but she was clearly feeling sick and it would've been a lot to dump on her and leave, also, he's dealing with a lot of his own stuff and is trying to figure out how to become financially independent from his father.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to interrupt your (not) scheduled oblivious Marinette shenanigans with what exactly Chat Noir has been up to this whole time.
> 
> Was it a little bit illegal? Maybe.  
> Probably. Let's not get into logistics.   
> Was it absolutely worth it? Yes.

When Ladybug first announced to the entirety of Paris that she was pregnant, Chat Noir had one response. 

He wanted to protect her. 

He covered for her, as she left the charity auction, and he stayed behind to talk to the media. He assured everyone that Paris was still safe, and Ladybug and him had plans. 

(They didn't though)

As Chat Noir tried to appease the public, he listened to their ideas, their whispers, thoughts and suggestions. When the concept of paid maternity/paternity leave for the superheroes was brought into the conversation, Chat jumped on that ship. 

"Yes, Ladybug and I are both young adults, with part time jobs, we could use the money. Hawkmoth has been cutting down my hours, and while we're fine now, who knows where we Will be a few months from now."

In addition to gathering public support for paid superhero parentage leave, Chat Noir also started accepting donations. Cash donations. After all, Adrien Agreste couldn't exactly cash a check for Chat Noir without getting his identity exposed. 

It was then that Chat somehow managed to book some acting gigs, to work in advertising. Apparently it was a good look for a superhero to be endorsing your brand.

The diaper company promised a year's worth of diapers, along with hourly payment. The company that produced baby bottles received permission to use Chat Noir's image in billboards and pop-up advertisements, and paid him more for one photoshoot than he had ever made at Gabriel.

Did he feel a little guilty for pretending to be the father of Ladybug's child? Yes, but it was to protect identities. And besides, he never lied. Other people suggested that Chat was the father and he merely went along with it. 

Chat Noir wasn't taking advantage of these people, he was just using his resources. If his portion of the payment from the ads and donations went to his own independence, no one needed to be the wiser. Sure, he had some of his own money saved from modeling, but as soon as he even suggested moving out, his father froze the account. 

Adrien's personal, private account didn't have enough funds to rent an apartment. Maybe this would give him the opportunity to do so.

Of course, he was going to give Ladybug half of the payment. She was the one with child. She needed the funds as much as he did, if not more. He couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be a pregnant superhero (well, he could imagine the superhero part. He already had that down). She was a stronger woman than he ever could be. 

And he talked to some legal people, some government officials, to get official bank statements for the paternity/maternity leave. 

And, with the public on his side, he was able to argue a regular salary for regular heroes. (The tax forms for those would be highly complicated and highly secretive, but moving out was worth the risk of exposing Adrien's identity. They also wouldn't be ready until wednesday).

When he met up with Ladybug, he was fully prepared to talk logistics. He had created a spreadsheet, labelling when Ladybug would need to step down. He had a list of potential candidates to be a temporary Ladybug (in order: Marinette, Kagami, Alya, Nino), and altered patrol schedules so that Ladybug could get the proper amount of sleep. 

So, imagine his surprise when Ladybug wasn't pregnant. When all she was doing was making bread. 

He didn't know how to respond. He knew she wouldn't accept the maternity leave pay, she had too high of morals. Instead, he ate some bread, and schemed.

And man, was it good bread. It tasted like one of Marinette's test recipes. (She had been baking loaves of bread and giving slices to friends at school all week). He could tell that (along with extra time in the oven), this one had a higher ratio of flour to water, like lays had suggested after Marinette's last loaf had been a but tough. It left the bread crumbly and-

Ladybug's bread and it's similarity to Marinette was not the problem he needed to focus on. But it was a weird coincidence. He marked that down to remember on some random night at like 3am, when his thoughts were at their most coherent incoherent. 

Not that weird. Plenty of blue eyes, blue haired Parisian, teenagers baked bread. Adrien could think of three off of the top of his head (Marinette, Ladybug, and Luka). He thought about asking multimouse if she baked bread, before remembering that Multimouse was Marinette and also that there were bigger things to focus on.

Like financial stability. 

All he needed to do was keep the charade up until he was able to move out. Ladybug would be on his side for that, right? Right?

He and Ladybug had a lot of late night chats, and she was always supportive, but if she learned that he was basically scamming the public to raise funds, she might not support it. 

She would encourage him to tell the truth, and collect donations from people that knew what they were donating to.

It wasn't a risk he could take. At least, not right away. He didn't even have a job to support the apartment he wanted to rent. Scamming seemed like his best option.

And Plagg encouraged it (in retrospect, don't listen to the god of chaos. All he does is cause chaos), so it couldn't be that bad of an idea.

What was the worst thing Plagg ever did? Eat too much cheese? 

The cat-shaped being was practically harmless, other than the fact that he could destroy anything with a touch of his paw. 

(just ask the dinosaurs)

So, Ladybug just kept talking about bread, and Chat Noir let her. He was too surprised to even try to explain what had happened. 

And then the next day an akuma attacked and offered a cease-fire, and Chat Noir jumped on that opportunity.

He didn't give Ladybug a chance to mess this up for them. Pregnant or not, they both could use the break. Fighting akumas was kind of like a spontaneous, stressful road trip. They were never prepared, but managed to use whatever they had and made things work. 

But Adrien was falling behind on his studies, and he couldn't imagine that Ladybug was doing great either. 

And nine months would provide ample opportunity to look for a job and figure things out. Really, it was a handout. Chat would be an idiot not to accept.

Ladybug was skeptical, but agreed. 

And somewhere in the middle of all of this, Chat Noir found out that Ladybug was Marinette, which, after some thinking made a lot of sense, but initially left him speechless. 

And then she asked him out? On a date?

Adrien almost teared up. His dreams were coming true. It was like he was in heaven. 

Except he still lived in his father's house.

The first akuma meeting was scheduled for Tuesday, and Chat Noir left a little bit early, and thank Plagg he did.

When he started jumping across Paris, he saw Ladybug on a rooftop. That was not part of the plan. She was supposed to be resting, pretending to be pregnant, not that she knew about that. Chat was the one supposed to meet with Hawkmoth.

Instinctively, Chat panicked, and did the only thing he knew how to do, tackled Ladybug, causing both of them to land hard on the pavement. 

They quickly talked, and she gave him croissants and agreed to stay behind, as per the plan, but told him to yell if anything went wrong.

Little did she know, Chat wasn't a coward, even if things went wrong, he wouldn't yell.

Through the latest akuma, Hawkmoth talked about the pains of fatherhood, and Chat Noir awkwardly listened to the monologue. He was given some advice that seemed questionable at best, like "control you child's every action," and "pressure them into being the perfect child," and "you don't need to spend time with your children, that's what your wife is for." 

Boy, Chat felt bad for whoever Hawkmoth's kids were. Their father was stuck up, didn't communicate with his kids, and expected them to be unnaturally perfect. Like man, Gabriel sucked, but at least he wasn't Hawkmoth. 

They shared Ladybug's croissants, (further evidence that Ladybug was Marinette) and Chat just awkwardly laughed at everything Hawkmoth said. It was the most uncomfortable conversation ever. 

Eventually, it was over, and Chat was given a soft bundle. 

Now it was time to face the music, Ladybug.

When he returned to the alley, she dove off of a rooftop hard, and hit the pavement. Chat was too afraid to comment on the fall. Also, she was spinning a lot.

He landed, as she was sitting up on the ground, swaying from side to side. "LB, you don't look so good."

She was in no condition to have a conversation about scamming the entirety of Paris. Or about faking a pregnancy. None at all. 

Chat helped her balance, as they walked around a couple blocks. 

Ladybug had stopped swaying, when she booked it to the nearest trashcan and started puking. 

Chat Noir held her hair back (it had become undone in the fall), and patted her back, as civilians hawked and whispered. 

It didn't matter. Ladybug was in pain, and he wanted to comfort her. She was weak, and probably felt like carp.

And then he heard the camera shutter go off.

Now, Adrien was no stranger to unwanted photos, but when it happened to Ladybug, he saw red. 

The photographer had no right to invade her privacy like that. Ladybug was puking, and they wanted to make it into news? 

The idea made Chat sick. 

And he went off on the photographer. Be wasn't sure what he was saying, only that Ladybug deserved better than for random people to be taking unfortunate photos. He scooped her up and carried her home. 

Once she was safe, he opened the bundle, and found that it was a bunch of clothes for newborns. A bunch of Gabriel clothing from a newborn line.

Gabriel had never released baby clothing, but it was definitely his designs. This was the kind of exclusive item that only one man could just give sway-

Chat really didn't want to think about the implications of that. Not while Ladybug was sick.

But he couldn't go home. Not after that.

Chat Noir donated the baby clothing, and felt like he might puke himself. 

He didn't.

He felt like shit though, and really didn't want to be alone. Not after a realization like that. 

Adrien spent the night at Nino's house. They watched some comfort disney movies, and when Adrien sobbed into the couch pillows, Nino didn't ask questions. 

When Tangled hit a little too close to home, Adrien had to ask Nino to switch movies. It was too much, too soon. He felt empty. Hollow.

Marinette wasn't at school the next day. Adrien volunteered to bring her homework. 

After a wonderful conversation with Sabine Cheng, who somehow managed to offer Adrien their guest room and a job, and Marinette's hand in marriage, and threaten to hurt him if he ever hurt Marinette all in one conversation. 

He got the distinct feeling that she knew more than she was letting on. Something about the look in her eyes was off. 

Whether she knew that Marinette was Ladybug, or that he was Chat, he couldn't say. Sabine looked like she had a million questions, but was too afraid to ask. 

She sent him up to Marinette's room to deliver homework. 

He asked Marinette to sign a waiver that allowed companies to use Ladybug's likeness in advertising, with some hefty payments. Luckily, her signature was unreadable enough that even he didn't know whether she had written Ladybug, or Marinette, but given her sick state, he didn't want to stress her out by letting her know that he knew her identity. 

She also signed the highly complicated tax form and a maternity/paternity leave payment agreement. And she didn't question it. 

Maybe, for once, all of the puzzle pieces were lining up. Chat Noir was collecting the funds that Adrien couldn't, and the Dupain-Chengs offered him a job and temporary place to stay.

And that's how Chat Noir found himself sitting with television talk show host Nadja Chamak, asking him when he and Ladybug decided to have children, and the risk it posed to the overall state of Paris, while he had to like through his teeth, pretending that everything was fine, while he knew that Ladybug was sick and Hawkmoth was his father.

Luckily, Adrien had a lot of experience pretending to be things he was not. Unluckily, he wasn't prepared to talk about his fictional sex life with Ladybug on live television.

She could be watching.

What had his life become?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me to me: they maddie what if you like, went to sleep at a reasonable time??
> 
> Also me: time isn't real hahahah you aren't even tired and you don't know why and if you sleep now you'll forget your ideas
> 
> (Its at this point in writing that I realized i didn't take melatonin at the usual time and perhaps that is why I was not able to sleep. To be fair, the last two chapters were written two days ago after I drank a little bit of coffee [sidenote I'm pretty sensitive to caffeine and haven't had coffee in like a year, I drink uncaffienated tea and sparkling water so it gave me so much energy oof] and then was like hella productive and finished an absurd amount of homework in one day, and then couldn't sleep so I wrote and I'm sensing a theme here i should sleep.)


	11. Chapter 11

The next day, Marinette had a headache, and her side was sore, but she felt relatively fine. 

As in, she didn't think she was going to puke. She felt weak, but like she could handle school. 

Falling off of that rooftop had really been impulsive. And not strategic.

She turned on her phone, casually swiping through notifications.

_Gabriel Agreste Releases Line of Baby Clothes_

_Chat Noir: Is He The Father?_

_LadyNoir Trouble In Paradaise_

_Hawkmoth's Surrender: What We Know And What It Means_

All of those sounded like dumb tabloid headlines. They weren't worth her time. 

She had a couple texts from friends, telling her to feel better, and some pictures of homework and then one from Adrien.

_Adrien: Let me know when you're free to talk_

The way it was phrased, Marinette couldn't tell if Adrien wanted to break up with her or if something was up. 

Last time they had talked, he was super weird and jumpy. Maybe it had to do with that. 

She sent back a casual _I'm free whenever, do you want to talk after school today?_

and sent the message. 

Then she some up and got ready for school. She brushed her hair and teeth, chose a cute outfit, and briefly looked at all of the homework that she didn't do. 

She shoved it in her backpack, and decided she would work on it during class. 

She arrived to school on time, sitting next to her boyfriend. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Buginette!" He hugged her. "Are you feeling okay? Yesterday you looked really out of it. I was worried."

"Yeah. I have a bit of a headache, but I'm feeling much better. Thanks for bringing all of the homework, by the way."

"No problem!" Adrien bit his lip. "You didn't happen to watch Chat Noir's interview last night, did you?"

"No?" Marinette frowned. "He did an interview without Ladybug?"

"Yeah."

"What was it about?"

Adrien glanced at the clock. "Class starts in five minutes, we should talk about this later."

Weird. Marinette shrugged. "Okay, you were the one that brought it up."

Alya walked into class, and squealed at Marinette. "Girl, tell me you watched Chat Noir's interview?"

"No? I felt sick and was asleep all day yesterday." Marinette yawned. "Sorry, I didn't see it."

"And," Adrien added, "me and her are going to watch it during lunch, so no spoilers."

"Awww." Alya shook her head. "But the Ladynoir content was so good."

"LadyNoir content?" Marinette growled. What had Chat Noir gotten himself into this time.

"No spoilers." Adrien repeated. 

Alright. That was really weird. 

Marinette thought about the conversation they had just had, and wondered what she could have said to make Adrien act so strangely. 

Then it hit her.

Marinette froze, and stared at Adrien, who was sitting next to her.

He waved a hand in front of her face. "Mari? Bug? Marinette? You good?"

"What did you just call me?"

"Mari?"

"After that?"

"Marinette?"

"No." She frowned. "Before that?"

"B-" Adrien bit his tongue. "Babe?"

"You called me Maribug."

"Did I?"

"Yeah." She blinked. "You know, don't you."

"Do I?"

"If class didn't start in thirty seconds, I would drag you into the hallway right now and have this conversation."

He chuckled nervously "Has anyone ever told you that you're cute when you're angry?"

"Dont try to flirt your way out of this one Agreste." Marinette folded her arms. "We are talking at lunch. We can watch the Chat Noir interview some other time."

"I really think you'll want to see it." Adrien blinked. 

Marinette looked away. "We can discuss this at lunch."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man guys this is it the moment you've been waiting for

When Marinette said that has wanted to talk during lunch, Adrien had assumed that they would be eating lunch.

Sabine had a whole platter of croissants behind the counter. If they had stayed in the bakery just a moment longer, Adrien could have talked his way into quite a few. 

Instead, Marinette marched up the stairs, practically dragging Adrien behind her, and shut the door.

They sat on the floor, eye to eye, and Marinette crossed her arms. 

Adrien chuckled, "So should I talk first, or do you want to-"

She sighed. "How long have you known?"

"Me?" He couldn't lie to her. "I had my suspicions, but I wasn't sure until earlier this week."

"Okay." She nodded. "Before, or after we started dating?"

"Before." 

She swore. "I should've known. No way Adrien Agreste would want to date me."

"I've wanted to date you since the moment we met."

She rolled her eyes. "You've wanted to date Ladybug, not me."

"You're the same person."

"Its different." 

"Fine, but to be fair, I've wanted to date Marinette for a long time. I saw how you stood up to chloe. When you helped Juleka with the photo. That time we almost kissed for the class movie. Youre our everyday Ladybug, and everyday I fall in love with you a little more."

Marinette smiled. "If anyone had to find out, I- well, I'd rather it be Chat Noir, but I'm glad its you."

"Yeah." He smiled back. "So am I."

"I trust you Adrien. I know that you can keep this secret."

"Yeah, I won't tell anyone."

"And that is why I'm offering you this." Marinette started to dig through her closet. 

"Uh, no offense, but I don't think your clothes will fit me." Adrien shrugged. "We have completely different body types and pink isn't really my color."

"Here!" She pulled a bracelet out of a box in the back. "Adrien Agreste, this is the miraculous of the snake-"

"I can't accept that."

"Nonsense." Marinette smiled. "You'd be a great hero."

"But I-"

"Chat and I have been talking about adding more permanent team members, and think you would be a great addition to the team."

"I don't know." Adrien frowned. "Maybe you should discuss this more with Chat Noir."

"Okayy." Marinette shrugged. "I guess I'll talk to Chat. Now, there was a video, you wanted to show me?"

"Yeah." Adrien pulled out his phone. "Here, the whole thing is on YouTube."

"Chat Noir really did an interview without me?" 

"Yeah, apparently."

"Man. I really wish I could talk to him right now. I know he's hiding something from me, but I can't figure out what." Marinette shrugged. "Maybe he's pregnant or something."

Adrien froze. "What did you just say?"

"Maybe he's pregnant?" Marinette laughed. "It was a joke."

"A Joke." Adrien repeated. "Right."

"There's no need to look so shaken up." Marinette nudged Adrien's shoulder. "Not only is it biologically impossible, I'm pretty sure Chat would tell me if he was pregnant."

"I mean, I'm sure he would."

"Besides, we're both teenagers, and that's generally frowned upon."

"What is?"

"Teenage pregnancy." Marinette laughed. "I mean, imagine the chaos that Paris would be going through if they thought Ladybug was pregnant. There would be riots. Protests."

There had been both of those. "Are you..." Adrien frowned, "are you pranking me right now? Is this some sort of weird joke?"

"No, I just think that would be funny."

"...right." he sighed, "have you looked at the news like at all this past week?"

"Not really. I tend to avoid headlines that have my name in them."

"But like, are you aware of what's happening, current events?"

"I check the weather every morning."

"Thats-" Adrien laughed. "The weather isn't current events."

"Well excuse me for not being a meteorologist. I guess I'm not aware of current events. I had no idea Chat was even getting interviewed."

"Yeah well-"

"Speaking of which, didn't you want to show me the interview? Both you and Alya were pretty excited about it this morning."

"Before you watch, just know that-" Adrien scratched the back of his neck, "well, it's kind of a funny story. Believe it or not-"

"Adrien." Marinette hugged him. "Its okay. We can watch the video and then talk."

"I mean, I think I should say that-"

"Say what?"

"Never mind." Adrien took a breath. "Just watch. Then we should talk."

Marinette pressed play on the video.

....

Marinette didn't move for a solid five minutes after the video ended, and Adrien was too anxious to speak.

Eventually, Marinette blinked. "Adrien, you know I'm not pregnant, right?"

"Yes. Trust me. We have established that fact."

"Great." She nodded. "Just want you to know. I'm not pregnant, and Chat Noir is not the father."

"Yeah, I know."

"Like-" Marinette facepalmed. "I've kissed him (barely) like three times, but those were to save him. We haven't made children together."

Adrien gave her a thumbs up. "I can't tell if youre mad at him?"

"Mostly I'm confused." Marinette sighed. "A little worried."

"Worried?"

"There must be a good reason that he's keeping this up. I don't know how it all started, but it has gotten Hawkmoth to lay off m, which is nice."

"So, like, if I was Chat Noir, what would you say?"

"You?" Marinette took a breath. "Well, first I'd call you an idiot. This isn't a charade we can keep up forever. Eventually, we have to admit that I'm not pregnant and that will raise a lot of questions."

"Fair enough, that's a good point." Adrien nodded, "what else?"

"Well, I would ask for my share of the paycheck. I mean, that was genius. Superheroing is a full-time job. I can't believe he convinced the city to actually pay us, its about time."

"Yeah, well that's as good of a start as any."

"What?"

Adrien unzipped his backpack, tossing some envelopes at Marinette. "If I was Chat Noir I'd say here are your half of the donations."

Marinette stared at the envelopes in her hands. "What?"

"I'd also say that, for the record, this was all your fault, I just kept the charade going, so that I could get myself legally emancipated and have enough funds to rent an apartment."

"My fault?"

"We can get back to that. It's a long story that years from now, we will look back and laugh at."

"I'm pretty sure I'd remember telling everyone that I was pregnant."

"You didn't use those words... exactly."

"What did I say?"

"Something about a bun in the oven." Adrien waved a hand, "there are bigger problems right now."

"Bigger than lying to Paris for your own financial gain?" Marinette shook her head. "You'd have a high bar to pass. This is pretty high on my list of problems."

Adrien grimaced. "If I were Chat Noir, I'd tell you that I figured out who Hawkmoth is, and I'm delaying the inevitable."

"Wait, did you say emancipated?" Marinette frowned, "like give minutes ago? Right after you gave me the envelope?"

"Yeah. It would be easier to figure out before my dad inevietably goes to prison for life, you know, for crimes against humanity and the whole being Hawkmoth deal."

"Adrien, we can get married." Marinette laughed. "We can get married, and then you don't have to live under his roof anymore and-" she froze.

"You okay?"

"Did you say that your dad is Hawkmoth?"

"Yeah."

"Well, shit. Thats a lot to unpack."

"I know. I've had a crazy week." Adrien grabbed one if Marinette's hands. "I'm so glad that I have you. Its been killing me to not be able to talk to anyone about this."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." Marinette nodded. "Excuse me for a moment, I need to scream."

"What?"

Marinette grabbed a pillow from her bed and screamed into it. As loud as she could.

It was pretty muffled, but Adrien could make out some very profound language. 

"Uhh, you good?"

"Yep." Marinette's voice was a little scratchy, "just peachy."

"But-"

"I'm fine." She smiled. "Sometimes I just have to scream."

"Fair enough."

"Where were we? Your dad is hawkmoth and I'm dating chat noir and all of Paris thinks I'm pregnant?"

"Yep, I think that's it."

"Well, this can't get any worse."

"Don't jinx us." Adrien winced. "Please I can't take any more bad luck right now."


	13. Chapter 13

"Before we do anything else," Marinette frowned, "do you have a place to stay? I mean, when we do this, he's going to go to prison and-"

"Yeah, I've totally got it figured out." Adrien chuckled. "I actually talked to your mom, and she said I can stay in the guest room as long as I need to. Also, I've got a part time job at the bakery."

"My mom just let you move in?"

"Well, I haven't moved in yet. But I have a suitcase packed. As soon as we do this, I'm ready to move in."

"You really thought this out."

"Yeah. I was planning on using donations from Paris to fund an apartment, but they can just go into our savings."

"Our savings?"

"I mean, I'm sure eventually, one of us is going to get injured, or we're going to want to move into an apartment together and part time job money won't cut it."

"Thats really sweet Adrien." Marinette frowned. "But I'm not sure that legally, we can keep the money."

"Sure we can. Its all cash. Untraceable."

"I mean yes, but morally, we can't keep any of the donations. We can keep your acting money, but the rest of it-"

"Is technically ours." Adrien winked. "As long as it goes towards our family, it wasn't lying."

"It feels slightly illegal."

"Marinette, in our free time, we run around on rooftops dressed in skintight spandex. Its far from the most illegal thing we've done."

She frowned. "Whats the most illegal thing we've done?"

Adrien started counting off on his fingers. "Property damage, assault, fraud, you know." He shrugged, "money laundering isn't that big of a deal. My dad does it all the time, and he's never been arrested."

Marinette opened her mouth. Then closed it. Then, "Maybe, just a suggestion, we shouldn't use your father as an example of upstanding morals."

"Fair enough."

"I think we should donate the money."

"Yeah, that's probably the best idea."

"So," Marinette took a breath. "What's our plan?"

"I've been waiting for this." Adrien pulled a notebook out of his backpack. "I've been thinking about this all week."

"Go on."

He started sketching a table. "The way I see it, we have three main problems."

"Three?"

"Hawkmoth, Lying to Paris, and I'd rather not live with a supervillian." Adrien crossed out the last item. "Now that we've dealt with that, we have to look at the first two issues."

"As much as I want to tell the truth, I think we have to defeat Hawkmoth before we do."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Marinette nodded. "If he finds out I'm not pregnant, he might like, send an akuma."

"Probably."

"So we should do that as soon as possible. When he least expects it."

"We have security cameras all around the house. He'll see us from a mile away. Literally."

"So, what do we do?"

"I could try to take the miraculous as Adrien. He wouldn't see it coming."

"Good idea."

Adrien wrote it down. "We've solved one issue."

"I'll go with you. As Marinette. For backup."

"Why would you ever talk to my father?"

"We'll have to make up a reason. You can tell him that we're dating, and then we steal the miraculous."

"Solid plan. How do we tell Paris that everything I've said in the last week is a lie?"

"Do you have any ideas?"

He frowned. "Only ones that would involve more lying."

"Like what?"

"We tell everyone that you aren't pregnant, you have a tumor, it was a misdiagnosis." Adrien gestured to Marinette's stomach.

"Nope." Marinette shook her head. "We do not need more pity. Or more donations. Any other ideas?"

"We could adopt a newborn, and never tell anyone that it isn't ours."

"We're too young to adopt."

"I know, but imagine a baby." Adrien smiled. "They're so cute and squishy and-"

"Not adopting." Marinette repeated. "Other ideas?"

"We could say that your pregnancy test was a false positive?"

"Harmless enough." Marinette shrugged. "Why don't we just say the truth? That I like baking bread, and got sick and there was a lot of miscommunication."

"That sounds like we're trying to cover something up."

"Not if we announce it in the same press conference that we announce Hawkmoth's defeat."

"I like that." Adrien nodded. "Any other ideas?"

"I-" Marinette chuckled. "Never mind, its too dumb." 

"What?"

"We could tell everyone that you caught Lila Rossi's contagious lying disease."

"Ha!" Adrien laughed. "Genius."

...

They ended up defeating Hawkmoth after school. 

Marinette and Adrien walked into his office. 

"Father, there's something I want to tell you."

Gabriel waved his hand dismissively. "I'm busy son-"

"Marinette and I are dating. I love her and I don't care what you say."

"Good for you." Gabriel looked up from his desk. "Is that all?"

"Actually, no." Adrien gave Marinette the signal, and she ran forwards and tore the Butterfly miraculous off of his shirt.

Then they transformed, and stood guard. Nathalie surrendered the peacock miraculous without hesitation. 

The police were there within the hour. They took statements, and Gabriel, and then it was over. 

It was finally over. 

It was almost underwhelming. After all they'd been through, Hawkmoth was taken down without powers, in like five minutes. 

When all was said and done, and they were back at Marinette's house, Adrien finally broke down. 

He cried, which made Marinette cry, which made him cry more. 

At one point, Sabine walked in, to tell them it was time for dinner, saw them crying, and just walked out without a word. 

Later that week, Ladybug gave a public statement/apology, announcing Hawkmoth's defeat, and her own lack of pregnancy. 

Chat Noir was curiously absent from that meeting. 

Ladybug explained that she had actually left a loaf of bread in the oven and panicked, which lead to a lot of miscommunication. Chat Noir really thought she was pregnant at first, and it was all a mistake. 

Weirdly enough, Paris just accepted the truth and moved on. 

(Other than all of the advertising agencies who had to pull the Chat Noir endorsed ads. They didn't want to be promoting teenage pregnancy)

In all of the wild scenarios, and possible statements to make, they had never imagined that it would be as simple as telling the truth.

But to be fair, Ladybug faking a pregnancy wasn't the weirdest thing to happen to Paris. Mr. Pigeon had been akumatized like 12 times in the last month.

And Marinette and Adrien got to be happy together, without the worry of pregnancy.

At least, for a few years. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well this was only supposed to be two parts and now I have like closer to ten planned, so-


End file.
